An sacrifice of praise

So today I led worship.  But just before I started to lead I found out that my good friend Elizabeth had died in the night.  She was a wonderful member of our church: an older lady who love love loved Jesus.  She has been such an encouragement to me on my worship journey and also encouraging me in all the other things God has for me.  She had been diagnosed with caner at Christmas and has been getting gradually weaker since then.  The cancer had spread to many organs and she had made the decision to not have chemo, but to prepare for her passing from this life to heaven. 

I had been going to see her once or twice a week since she was diagnosed to pray with her.  At the beginning I thought I would go to bless her, but in fact it was always me that was blessed.  She would always pray for me and had been such an encouragement for going the worship school at Bethel.  In fact when I visited her in the hospice on Wednesday she was so thin and frail, but as I left her room she shouted after me "I will continue to pray for you for your trip".  When I left her room I doubted that she would still be alive when I left...  And so I suppose she will just be rooting for me on the other side :)

My grandad died of cancer and I remember seeing him just before he died,  He was angry and aggressive.  Thin, like my friend, but not at peace in any way.  He did not know the Lord. It was awful to see him suffer...  But with Elizabeth it was different:  She knew where she was going and the presence of God was tangible in her room.  It was as if Jesus was sitting next to her, holding her hand to lead her to the next  -  heaven.

I struggled to lead worship this morning: I suppose I had to give what must be called an sacrifice of praise.  God is good though:  I had planned my set as usual during the week by praying and asking God were he wanted the worship to go.  When I heard the news I thought oh no, my set is not a lament:  but God was amazing because although I had not realised it, loads of the songs mentioned how we have a hope in Jesus and he turns our mourning into songs of praise.

On a sad note it looks like I will now be away for her funeral and celebration service: she had asked me to do the worship.  But I know Elizabeth, she would much rather I went on this trip.  She was desperate for me to go and so in 5 days I will begin my journey to the Bethel School of Worship.