Turning Point

I am not sure how it happened but I lost my connection.  I have been really busy.  Good busy though. 

First I was asked by another church to sing in the town center for a music festival, then I was asked at the last moment to play and sing for another church for the Pentecost service.  These were both great and God was using me out of my comfort zone and it was exciting.

I have also been leading the assemblies in our Christian school every Friday:  I normally do the primary school one, but I was asked to do one for the primary and senior schools.  It was a challange to lead children of such different ages into God's presence, but God showed up and the feedback from the children was extremely encouraging. 

On top of these, this Sunday I organised a Queen's Diamond Jubilee Street party with my house group.  The event was amazing and it really brought the community together.  All good stuff: but all giving out. 

So I have been feeling low and tired.  Suddenly I have gone from praising my Lord all day long to saying "where is God?"

Today was a turning point... The phone rang during lunch.  It was a pastor from another church asking if I would go and lead worship there this Sunday.  Every thing in me wanted to say yes.  I am really enjoying visiting so many churches, and it is so nice to be asked...  but as I went to check the calender and rotas John said I should pray about whether to say yes... "Pray?  I need to give him an answer."

I told the pastor that I would check something and ring him back.  Pray?  When did I last pray about what to do with my calender? Where have I been?  On some other planet?  I have not actually been in my church for 4 weeks...  4 weeks.  The week after next I am leading again... do I really need to be away again, and leading again?  I knew the answer was no.  I need to receive from God and not just give out. 

So I rang him back and told him I needed to have a week just "being" in the presence of God.  But everything in me wanted to say yes and do it. 

I want to seek God and do the things He wants me to do.  I have really enjoyed just worshiping Him again today.  Not planning a set, or a talk, just worshipping my God because He is worthy.  I even put on my worhip music and running shoes and headed out in the rain for an hour.  I love walking and praying, I have not done this for weeks and I know That I have lost my connection because I have simply just not spent time with Him.

So a turning point.  I am on the road again, and I am very much looking forward to worshiping in my church this weekend.  The Holy spirit has been moving in power over the past few weeks I have been away... so I cannot wait.

What is Worship?

I was recently asked to sum up what worship is to me.  It was good to think about it.  This was my response.. 

“Worship is my life.  It gives me life.  Seeking God in all areas, asking Him to come and fill me, giving Him glory, spending my time thinking about Him and praising Him.  Seeking His will not mine, falling at His feet and offering my life for Him. For me it is reading his word, being still and feeling his holy spirit, watching the sun set, dancing,  waving a flag, singing.  I love to worship Him by visiting the sick, helping the lost, bringing his light to dark places.  Whatever I do, I want it to glorify the King. I sing constantly, it must be very annoying for those around me…  I just want to sing to Him all day.  I often can’t sleep because I am still singing to Him.   I believe worship comes from our soul, deep within us.  Through the Holy spirit we have a connection to God at all times.  As soon as I look to God I cannot help but worship Him.  He is worthy of my worship.  God has made me creative and when I use my creativity to worship Him, It lights a fire within me.  I used to go to church  on a Sunday and worship.  I would sing a bit and then somewhere near the end of the singing I would connect with God again…  But now something has changed within me:  I no longer come disconnected, I come connected, ready to give my all for my Saviour, because He gave his all for me.  I long for the days in heaven when I can see Him and worship Him constantly, for now I pray for more of His Holy spirit, more of this connection, more of God in My life”